Now that my mate’s two-legger is staying in our den, I’m not quite sure what to make of it. My spotted queen assures me that she is well trained, but I still have my doubts.
She spends an awful lot of time staring at nothing of particular interest. At least the light box provides the amusement of small noisy two-leggers that can be threatened with a mighty hiss, and when the wrinkly one is busy staring at it, she creates a lovely warm comfy spot on the top of her legs for my napping pleasure. But this behavior is not beneficial to kitties at all. And that wet stuff she’s enjoying really curls my whiskers, it smells so bad!
…I think it is time to give this two-legger the ultimate test. And if she fails to pass and gain my approval… then her sleeping place has just become my new sand box until she gets the message and leaves my territory. It really is quite simple.
And… belly is up! I repeat, the belly is up!
…You have chosen wisely, two-legger.
It would appear that my mate has indeed trained you well.
You have the tuna flavored treats, not the liver flavored kind…
…You know the proper itchy spot behind the right ear…
…And your backstroke technique is above average. I’d give it a solid 9.2.
…All right, two-legger, you may stay.
But, at the end of the day… you still can’t compare to my two-legger.
I have trained her well in the art of catnapping… and there is no better comfy place in the world than stretched out on her warmth, under her wrinkly paws.
Perhaps, in time, you can become almost as good as the wrinkly one, two-legger.