Aaaaaah… on days when the cold, wet white stuff is piled up as high as your haunches, it is nice to stay inside a nice warm den and brush up on one’s hunting skills…
Mrrt…? Hey! Heeeeey! Wrinkly One, I was in the middle of something! It isn’t like I interrupt you when you are in the middle of playing with your rustly-thing, or staring at the light-box, or– okay, so maybe I do, but that is beside the point! A lap without a cat is not a proper lap, everyone knows that! Taking a fine hunter away from his prey, on the other paw, is just not done!
And why do you have your thick fur and fuzzy paws on? I have a bad feeling about this…
…A very bad feeling about this! Ever since my Queen and her two-legger came to live in our den, I’ve never had to be shoved into that awful little cat-prison that lives in the belly of the roaring monster! I hate the cat prison! I hate the roaring monster! …And I hate the way it feels like the world is sliding around like a kitten on ice!
Wrinkly One, what– oof!
Oh great Maker of Friskies Temptations Treats, the cat-prison has fallen from its ledge and is going the wrong direction! We are going to die! I’m still a young, spry cat with kits and a mate at home! I don’t want to die!
When the roaring monster stops and the wrinkly one rescues me from the upended cat-prison in its belly, I’m beyond spooked, but thankful I’m still alive. That experience was on par with the horror stories I’ve heard about baths…
I have no idea where the wrinkly one has taken me, nor do I particularly care. I’m cold and wet and in a terrible mood from the trip, and just want to be somewhere warm and cozy. I could do with some hot milk and a catnap right about now.
The little one is here, but I know this is not her den. Her den is close enough to walk to like a civilized animal, and this place doesn’t reek of dog.
In fact, I think I detect the distinct scent of feline in the bitter-cold air…
What… What is this place? It’s… it’s filled with cats! So… many… cats!
My kitty senses are telling me that something is very wrong here. This many cats shouldn’t be gathered around in some strange place with ground that is slick like ice but not even cold beneath the paws… it isn’t natural! We should all be at home catnapping in our own warm dens…
A Persian of some years seems to sense my nervousness at the situation. “Mrrrrrrrrt.” (A Rookie, huh?)
“Mrow, mroooow, mwreewrrrt-rrt. Mrr, meow, mreeeeow. Moaw, mrt!” (Don’t worry, you start to get used to it. A word of advice; keep the claws in and don’t piss on anyone. Good luck out there, Rookie!)
Luck? What in the world was I going to need luck for?
Sir, I hope you realize there is a special death reserved for two-leggers that think it is okay to hold a cat this way! And I would gladly give one of my nine lives to make sure you see it!
Keep the claws in my tail-end! Wrinkly One, what have I done to deserve this special brand of kitty torture?
You see this face? This is the face of betrayal.
…I thought you loved me, Wrinkly One.
I felt dirty when that strange two-legger finally put me down. Far too much attention had been spent on areas that, in my humble cat opinion, should only be graced by a kitty’s tongue and not a two-legger’s roaming eyes. I would’ve swiped him across those eyes if I could’ve gotten my paws in the right position! It was as if that crafty two-legger knew, and held my forelegs in just such a way as to prevent my fine hunter self from doing damage.
…I really, really don’t like him!
I was beyond hissy-cat at that point. Ears flat and tail in the air, I gave the wrinkly one a look that said, in no uncertain terms, it was time to leave. But the wrinkly one isn’t always the sharpest kit in the litter. Instead, she wanted to play.
Wrinkly One, that’s what I was doing back at our den, before you interrupted me! If you wanted to play hunt-and-maim-the-mouse together, we could’ve done that at home!
…Fine! If I catch the mouse, we get to go back to our den, right?
Oh, that’s tricksy, Wrinkly One! If you think as fine a hunter as myself can’t climb such a measly wall after one little mouse, then…
. . .
Wrinkly One, I feel like you are not playing fair, here.
That’s it, I’m done playing! I’ll find my own way home! Why, back when I was a stray kit, I used to walk over twenty miles in the cold white stuff, both ways, to eat from outdoor housecat food bowls! Certainly I can–
Dammit Wrinkly One, you exploit my one weakness!
I can see you Wrinkly One~ I know you have the mouse out there~ I can hear the jingle-jingles~
You can’t run forever~
Aaah, somehow it smells even sweeter than usual, and the jingles as I bat it between my paws are far more satisfying than usual.
What are you so happy about? I’m the one that caught the mouse. …And no, I’m not sharing. I’m still mad at you. Just for the record.
“Maaaaow. Mreow.” (Not bad, Rookie. Not bad at all.)
“Nyaaa… mrrow.” (Aaaaaaah well… It was nothing, really.)
“Maao-ow meow mrr.” (It’s all in the back.)
“Mrrt, mew mew? Maaaaaeow meow meow. Maow. Mrrowt.” (Err, you do realize you were doing it wrong? You are supposed to make the two-legger do all the work, carrying you over the obsticles when you don’t cooperate. Ah well, it’s your first time. You’ll learn in time.)
…As I listen to the old Persian’s words, I feel betrayed for the second time that day.
Only the wrinkly one seemed truly pleased as we left that strange place filled with cats and proddy two-leggers and tiny walls and kitty-tunnels. If I didn’t still feel violated from being held and pet in all the wrong ways and tired from the strangest game of catch-the-mouse I’ve ever played, I’d wonder if I really was safely at home in my den the whole time, having the oddest “ate-too-much-nice-smelling-mouse” dream I’ve ever had.
…I just hope the wrinkly one wasn’t so pleased she decides to do this again sometime!
This was by far the hardest chapter I’ve ever put together to date. Using poses just isn’t something I use very often in this particular story, but when the random event came up for the Best in Show Competition, I really wanted to “show” the events happening once the Sims disappear inside the rabbithole location. Creating the scenes really was like “herding cats”… quite literally!
I really wasn’t sure how to deal with cat dialogue… since, ya know, they are cats and quotations didn’t seem right. If the way I did it doesn’t work, feel free to give me suggestions and I’ll try to come up with some other way of doing that in the future.