Lately, there has been a stray calico hanging around my territory… this is bothersome enough when she is outside, but if she catches the wrinkly one going out to fetch her rustly plaything in the morning, and gives her those sad cat eyes and a few pleading mews, the wrinkly one has no resistance at all, and will stoop to letting her into my den and feed her my treats!
The sight of how easily she wraps the wrinkly one around her paw makes me want to wretch my tuna niblets.
Hey! I’ve spent years training this two-legger! You can’t just barge in and reap all the benefits of my hard work! Find your own two-legger to train!
Before the wrinkly one lets her out, the calico just gives me a large, catty grin. Her golden eyes appeared to have already thoroughly examined my den… and liked what they saw. She had that look that said, I’ll be back.
I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all!
After that, I started to notice that strays began hanging around a lot more often.
Finally, one day as I noticed an old grayed tabby making the rounds around my territory, I decided to face the cold stuff and find out what was going on.
The old tabby told me that word on the street was that this was a hotspot for shelter and treats, and was surprised that I didn’t know. …Not only had that calico taken advantage of my well-trained two-legger, she had bragged about it to all the neighborhood strays!
Perhaps I had trained my wrinkly one too well… if she started feeding all these felines, why, my den would simply be overrun with cats in no time! It made my fur stand on end thinking about it!
One afternoon, the wrinkly one took me and my queen on one of her visits. It was not a territory I was familiar with, but it smelled heavily of feline, and I recognized the two-legger as one the wrinkly one had spoken with before, who was always covered in feline fur, so I knew that she belonged to a cat, too.
Which cat, however… was another question entirely! Upon entering her den, there were felines everywhere!
By the playthings, cats…
…By the food dishes, a cat…
…By the catbox, another cat!
Everywhere I examined there seemed to be a cat! How could any one two-legger belong to so many cats?
I had to ask the mottled female just how many felines lived in that den. Four! Herself and her mate, her kit, and another cat. She assured me there were no problems, as she was the alpha cat, and as such, the two-legger was considered hers.
She was an old cat and seemed wise for her years. She said that some two-leggers just… liked collecting felines. It made me pause for a moment… Surely not my wrinkly one…? Why would she need any cat other than me?
…I think she thought to impress me with her… alpha-cat skills. Please!
Even the other cats in the house could tell who had the more impressive technique!
As it turned out, the she-cat I’d met as a kitten, and later sparred with teaching my own kit how to hunt, was the mottled alpha queen’s kit! My mate seemed to get along with her well… I’ll admit, that she-cat isn’t exactly the best hunter, and my queen is abysmal. I think my own play gets a bit too much for my queen sometimes and she needs a feline a bit more at her own level… they seemed to be quite an even match!
While my queen was thoroughly amused, I went to check on the wrinkly one and noticed the mottled alpha queen’s mate was just getting into position to roll over and use the “belly up” technique on her. Not if I could help it!
Hey! That’s my two-legger! Don’t you get enough pets from–
Oh great food dish, he’s got fleas! FLEAS! There are fleas in this den!
Letmeoutletmeoutletmeout! FLEAS! SPOTTED QUEEN! GET OUT! FLEAS! DON’T GET THE FLEAS!
She was, thankfully, blissfully unaware…
…Of just what evil lurked inside that den.
Noooooooo, not the white beast! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
…And this is precisely why we don’t need more cats, Wrinkly One. If you start collecting strays, they will undoubtedly bring fleas into my den!
…I’d use you as a scratching post if I didn’t itch so bad right now.
Day 51 | Day 53