The Cat Chronicles Day 41: In the Enemy’s Den

The wrinkly one and her kit have been away from the den so often lately… The roaring monster swallows them up and runs away, and it is several catnaps before it returns and spits them out…

I wonder if they’ll be back soon, one of the food bowls only has the unpleasant powdery broken bits left… Not that I would ever be picky about such a thing, of course, but Two-paw and Three-paw certainly deserve better…

Oh… what is… this?! This is not the roaring monster!

Certainly this is a beast equally worthy of caution…

*snort*

Dear whiskers it’s huge! It makes my fur shake under its hot, mighty breath! Retreat!

Err… That’s right, get out of here, giant cloven beast!

Obviously my fine hunting prowess was just too much for him too handle.

Hmm? What is that mutt up to this late?

I think I’ll follow him. Cats and curiousity… I just can’t help myself.

Oho… so is this your den, Mutt? And… is that your two-legger?

Well, well, well. It is time to up my game to a whole new level, I see.

“Meeeeeeeeeow, maaaaaaaaow, mrrrrrrrrrroow!”

Oh, please help me, dumb two-legger that owns the dumb mutt! Can’t you see I’m a poor starving stray, stuck all alone out here in the cold white-stuff, unable to even find scraps from your stinky place?

Mrwahahaha, this is going to be too easy!

Now for the cute eyes! “Mroooooooooooow!” You don’t want to leave a poor kitty like me out here on a cold night like this, do you?

…And that’s how it’s done.

Aaaah, the heart of the mutt’s den. The entire place stinks of mutt.

First order of business: Replace the mutt’s scent with my fine feline perfume.

Second order of business: Leave my calling card on his most beloved possessions.

And the final order of business: Leave him an extra special token of my affections.

Uuuuugh, canine’s eat this stuff? Rancid. Though, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, considering they’ll eat their own feces… I imagine this tastes about the same…

Food bowl desecrated, check.

And now I shall return your food, Mutt, with a side serving of hairball…

Ooooh, that stinks! Enjoy waking up to that one, dozing doggy!

I quite enjoy your two-legger’s pets, so I’m sure I’ll be back~

Day 40 | Day 42